Curaçao 2002

Curaçao March 31, 2015

People and friends who know me know I have 2 men: I am married to one but the other I know longer, much longer. 20 years to be precise. I will guide you to our story.

I met Luís 20 years ago. I just had a rough time and had to get away from where I lived. So I decided to go home for a month. One night I went out with my sister, we went dancing at the Jail, a popular dancing place.

And suddenly I saw him. A gorgeous man. He was dancing on the dancingfloor and I slapped my sister and said: “look, over there!”. She clearly liked him as well but I told her right away that he might not fancy women. She did not really believe me.

I walked over to him. Not to find out if he wanted to talk to my sister but there was this feeling of being attracted to him. And no, not the romantic way but even from a distance I felt a click.

So I walked over and we started talking. We talked very long, because after a while the lights turned on. I asked him if he needed a ride home and he accepted the invitation. That night I found out his name, that he came from Venezuela and that he was a hairdresser. The next day we went to the beach and we kept on talking. And we have never stopped since.

Meanwhile my sister found out he was not the one for her. But instead he became my ‘one’.

With Luís I have experienced beautiful and less beautiful situations: he was there for me when a couple of boyfriends came and went, he went through the time with me when I finished one study and started the next. He was the first I told about the exciting new boyfriend who did stay! And he was one of the first ones I told that we were getting married. He was the one who took a ten hour flight to literally sit next to me on my wedding day: he was my best man!

But even more beautiful: I was honoured that I walked in the wedding dress that he made for me for one of the most beautiful days of my life. Because when we decided to get married, I started looking for a wedding dress. I loved the Vera Wang dresses and all of a sudden I asked myself: Can’t Luís make me this dress? So I asked him and without thinking he was enthusiastic and said that this would be his wedding present for me. Isn’t that beautiful? Getting married in a original Luís-dress? It took him about 6 months and he went to buy the fabric himself in Venezuela. Once I got to go to Curacao for a fitting: no punishment at all.

But it was also him who picked me up from the airport one Thursday afternoon when I traveled to Curacao head over heals because just a few hours before my intuition said that my father was not doing well. And when my father passed six days later and was cremated 8 days after I arrived, it was Luís who came to my house at five a.m. to make me beautiful for the last time I would see my father. It took him 2 hours to make me pretty whilst I had only experienced grief for the past days. It was not an easy job.

Eventhough we were separated for thousands of kilometres, we were together emotionally. Skype, e-mail, on the phone, it did not matter. Modern technology has only made it easier for us because when we met, we wrote eachother old-fashioned letters. Old fashioned photos included.

It is much easier now: on a regular basis Luís alerts me about a lot of nice apps that make communicating with eachother more fun. Regardless of the distance. I’m not on the island as much as I used to be but when I am there, I make sure I have enough time for Luís. It helps that my husband doesn’t always come to the island with me, this way I have more time for my other man.

For example, the last time I was in Curacao was a month ago. For the first time in what must have been 15 years we had a sleep over. It was so much fun. And cozy. And familiar. I was only there for a week but we saw eachother on a daily basis. Even if it was to drink a  tai chi latte tea. Just being together.

All the same, whether we are together or far away from eachother: Luís is and will stay my soulmate. For 20 years already. And still counting.

How many people can say, just like me, that they have found that one person who will stick by them and stay with them forever?

I can!

In the meanwhile we are known on the island as a duo: Vanessa and Luís. Sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g…

(note: this one is for Luís: kinderen, in de bank! Love you forever..)

Holland, July 2006. Making the wedding dress

Curaçao summer 2014